Caleb is the best man ever! A few weeks ago he surprised me at the airport with a beautiful ring and asked me to marry him. I few choice, shocked words later I said of course! I started this blog as a sad, lonely maid and now I am as happy as can be!
I will turn this around to be my wedding planning blog. I am scared...ekk! Not to marry him. I would marry him tomorrow. I am scared to plan this shindig!
No date, no plans, just questions... I love him, I do. That's all that matters!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I found what I was looking for...
Ok people... took some time... worked on me and now I am as happy as ever. Since the last time I "blogged" I have fallen madly in love with the man I will marry. Caleb is messy, hilarious, goofy, sometime irrational, perfect in every way for me, and most importantly; the love of my life.
We got together early September and have barely spent 24 hrs apart since. Actually we recently moved in together. Everything does happen for a reason. I thought I wanted something else, somewhere else, with someone else. I could not have been more wrong. Caleb and I both ended up here for jobs, not ideal area for singles, but perfect for meeting the love of your life.
Just wanted to let you know...
We got together early September and have barely spent 24 hrs apart since. Actually we recently moved in together. Everything does happen for a reason. I thought I wanted something else, somewhere else, with someone else. I could not have been more wrong. Caleb and I both ended up here for jobs, not ideal area for singles, but perfect for meeting the love of your life.
Just wanted to let you know...
Friday, September 11, 2009
I'mmmmmmmmmmmmmm Baaaaaaaaaaack!
Ok people... I told you I was going to drag my ass out of this slump and I did! I am so happy right now I could scream. It is too soon to tell anything yet... but I will keep you posted. I just wanted to let you all know... I'm Back and better than ever!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Melissa Project: Journey Back to Fabulousity
Ok people, I am in a slump! A real, full-blown, embarrassingly stupid and self-pitying slump. Here marks the day that I drag my sorry ass out of this. I need a pick me up for my life. I have had a whole entire year in this place. August 1 marks the anniversary of my fabulouslity's demise. Culprites: Small Town, USA and Loneliness. Let me explain.
Back to the Days of Fabulousity: I was carefree, blonde, skinny, fun-loving and people wanted to be around me. I had an amazing boyfriend 3 years ago that I foolishly dumped (who recently I decided I wanted back... that was attempt 1 back to Fabulousity...FAILED. *tear*). He was/is such a great guy and I was blind to the fact that he was everything I was looking for NOW! Not then. What can you do? You don't know what you've got till it's gone I guess. Well beyond that sad sap of a story; I constantly had things to do. I was living in a college town so that of course helped. I cannot help the fact that I am getting older and it was time to move on. I needed to move on to bigger and better things. Did I do that? NO!
Demise started with moving on to a good job in Smalltown, USA. Don't get me wrong, where I live is nice for families. Not so much a single person. Let's just say I have had a lot of alone time and lots of miles on my car to get to places where I am not alone. I seriously moved on to smaller and ok things. One year ago I was so excited about my new job and new apartment, I was blind to the fact that jobs are not what makes life worthwhile, it's the people you surround yourself with. I am surrounded by great people here that I am not close with. I have nothing in common with many people here. Some even call me the city girl. HELLO I am from LaPorte, IN not NYC! I thought getting a boyfriend would make things better... match.com came into my life. A few dates here and there and small relationships started but I was still here. If I felt like the guy had no vision of leaving this area it was over. I then met HB...actually through someone here in town... we dated, it was real, but then the lurking question was over my head... could I really stay around here forever? The answer was simple but the action was not... Answer: NOOOOOO! Action: Treat him like crap to get him to break up with me. (I couldn't admit that the only reason I didn't like him was his small town ways and the fact he was not leaving, EVER.) I am a coward. Now I am not so successfully single and obsessed with it. Here insues Loneliness; #2 culprite for killing my fabulousity. #1 being of course being a big fish in a very small puddle. I am gasping for air...
My goals in life thus far have been somethings I cannot necessarily control.
1. Education (I control-- Check)
2. Job (I control for the most part-- Check)
3. Friends (just happens that I have the best friends anyone could ask for, sucks they live FAR away-- Check)
4. Love (I do NOT control-- )
5. Marriage (I do NOT control-- )
6. Kids (I do NOT control-- )
There is a pattern-- things I can control I have checked off the list. Things I cannot control-- not even close. I think I need a new list of goals. Ones I can control and the rest will follow (I am banking happiness on this assumption so I better be right). I cannot be looking constantly for love. If I build it (or me), HE will come!
I am going to be selfish and work on me! (I will of course still be active in my role as a student advocate and do things that help better the world. That in turn will help me be a better person.)
New goals to get me back to fabulousity.
1. Work on connections with my friends. (yeah it costs money to travel but I thrive on their company so one of the most important things in my life)
2. Volunteering more/doing jobs or actions that help others beyond my current position
3. Work out--p90x
4. Take care of myself and bring my looks back to what I feel they once were. (spa days yay!)
5. Get a hobby-- I think I am going to get into Photography. I would love to make money doing something like that beyond my current job. I want to do like senior pictures and family portraits. A nice camera is what I want for my birthday. Anything to do with photography as a gift is highly welcomed.
6. Spend quality time with the fam.
7. Go on dates but don't expect perfection. Just have fun!
8. Read more.
9. Cook healthier-- already in progress.
10. Organize get-togethers for women in my town-- fun relaxing times-- like bunko nights (thanks Eagle's Brooke Ladies)
11. drag my ass out of this slump!
I am hoping to be somewhere I am happy within this next year... maybe Indy? maybe Chicago? (I was hoping Boston, but sometimes it's too little, too late.)
I take this as my Step 1! Let the Melissa Project begin! Step 2: Get my lazy ass off of the couch and out from behind my computer and away from the TV. Here goes nothing! (or everything it seems.)
Back to the Days of Fabulousity: I was carefree, blonde, skinny, fun-loving and people wanted to be around me. I had an amazing boyfriend 3 years ago that I foolishly dumped (who recently I decided I wanted back... that was attempt 1 back to Fabulousity...FAILED. *tear*). He was/is such a great guy and I was blind to the fact that he was everything I was looking for NOW! Not then. What can you do? You don't know what you've got till it's gone I guess. Well beyond that sad sap of a story; I constantly had things to do. I was living in a college town so that of course helped. I cannot help the fact that I am getting older and it was time to move on. I needed to move on to bigger and better things. Did I do that? NO!
Demise started with moving on to a good job in Smalltown, USA. Don't get me wrong, where I live is nice for families. Not so much a single person. Let's just say I have had a lot of alone time and lots of miles on my car to get to places where I am not alone. I seriously moved on to smaller and ok things. One year ago I was so excited about my new job and new apartment, I was blind to the fact that jobs are not what makes life worthwhile, it's the people you surround yourself with. I am surrounded by great people here that I am not close with. I have nothing in common with many people here. Some even call me the city girl. HELLO I am from LaPorte, IN not NYC! I thought getting a boyfriend would make things better... match.com came into my life. A few dates here and there and small relationships started but I was still here. If I felt like the guy had no vision of leaving this area it was over. I then met HB...actually through someone here in town... we dated, it was real, but then the lurking question was over my head... could I really stay around here forever? The answer was simple but the action was not... Answer: NOOOOOO! Action: Treat him like crap to get him to break up with me. (I couldn't admit that the only reason I didn't like him was his small town ways and the fact he was not leaving, EVER.) I am a coward. Now I am not so successfully single and obsessed with it. Here insues Loneliness; #2 culprite for killing my fabulousity. #1 being of course being a big fish in a very small puddle. I am gasping for air...
My goals in life thus far have been somethings I cannot necessarily control.
1. Education (I control-- Check)
2. Job (I control for the most part-- Check)
3. Friends (just happens that I have the best friends anyone could ask for, sucks they live FAR away-- Check)
4. Love (I do NOT control-- )
5. Marriage (I do NOT control-- )
6. Kids (I do NOT control-- )
There is a pattern-- things I can control I have checked off the list. Things I cannot control-- not even close. I think I need a new list of goals. Ones I can control and the rest will follow (I am banking happiness on this assumption so I better be right). I cannot be looking constantly for love. If I build it (or me), HE will come!
I am going to be selfish and work on me! (I will of course still be active in my role as a student advocate and do things that help better the world. That in turn will help me be a better person.)
New goals to get me back to fabulousity.
1. Work on connections with my friends. (yeah it costs money to travel but I thrive on their company so one of the most important things in my life)
2. Volunteering more/doing jobs or actions that help others beyond my current position
3. Work out--p90x
4. Take care of myself and bring my looks back to what I feel they once were. (spa days yay!)
5. Get a hobby-- I think I am going to get into Photography. I would love to make money doing something like that beyond my current job. I want to do like senior pictures and family portraits. A nice camera is what I want for my birthday. Anything to do with photography as a gift is highly welcomed.
6. Spend quality time with the fam.
7. Go on dates but don't expect perfection. Just have fun!
8. Read more.
9. Cook healthier-- already in progress.
10. Organize get-togethers for women in my town-- fun relaxing times-- like bunko nights (thanks Eagle's Brooke Ladies)
11. drag my ass out of this slump!
I am hoping to be somewhere I am happy within this next year... maybe Indy? maybe Chicago? (I was hoping Boston, but sometimes it's too little, too late.)
I take this as my Step 1! Let the Melissa Project begin! Step 2: Get my lazy ass off of the couch and out from behind my computer and away from the TV. Here goes nothing! (or everything it seems.)
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Wedding Season Hater
Yeah-- I am a hater-- or a wannabe. Seriously wedding season has me on edge. Wedding Season is a yearly reminder that I am single. YES WORLD MELISSA IS SINGLE. (hoping some hot single successful guy will read this...riiiiiiiiight.)
Not only is it a reminder that no one has wanted to marry me, but I have to find dates to all of these stinkin things. Let me tell you something... if you are my date let's just figure we will not be friends any longer. I always have the wedding dates from you know where... Here's my low-down of bangin' times (well mostly other people bangin').
Jenn and Bobby (2002?)-- Maid of Honor-- No date but made out with the Best Man who also hooked up with another bridesmaid like 10 minutes later. Golden.
Jess and Matt (2007)-- Maid of Honor-- Matt was my date-- things were great to start-- ended up hooking up with an old high school friend of mine and brought her back to our hotel. Yeah I thought for sure I would end up in the bed while my date hooked up on the floor. Good thing he had the sense to hook up with her in the parking lot till 2am then she had to call her dad to pick her up. He then had the balls to come back to our room, he was of course locked out, and ask if we could spoon. Ew!
Adrienne and Nick (2007)-- Guest-- Tommy was my date and my boyfriend-- till that night. He complained the entire time. He started off by sitting in the church rambling out loud in front of my friends and Ade's family that he was atheist and how he will never get married. I started thinking about our future at that very moment. More complaining continued into the Cocktail Hour then reception. I started to drink... which he complained about and told me that I was too wild for him. He then got a phone call saying his dog got attacked by another dog...with tears in his eyes he said I have to go... you know my dog is very important to me. I understood that he wanted to check on the dog, so I said well just come back after you find out. His response, "Do I have to?" YES! Are you flipping kidding me? He made me find a ride home from the wedding. Let's just say the bartender had my drinks poured before I reached the bar that night. I luckily found a ride home... and well had a day to recover from a horrible hangover. We broke up the next day anyways... (yes we broke up over a dog).
Kara and Jason (2008)-- Guest-- Jake was my Date-- we were actually dating (not bf/gf but dating) Let me say it lasted one more wedding date experience with him before we stopped talking for more than 6 months. We had been friends for 6 years prior. In his defense, he just pretty much got left at the alter by his ex-fiance, so maybe this dating this was not up his alley at the moment. He was very weary about churches and weddings and, well, talked the whole time about how much he wanted to date Kara in college but how he wasted his time with the ex. HELLO WE WERE DATING AND KARA IS ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS! He hit on every person at the wedding including married women... He got hammered and I had to drive half of the wedding party to the hotel because he told them I would. This wedding was just a preview for the next one...
I was then a date to one of Jake's Friends weddings up in Cleveland (5 hrs away). He introduced me to everyone as JUST his friend. He left me alone most of the time to drink with his friend's wife and some people I had never met before. He then started hitting on this nasty fat chick in a white dress and black bra. They were all over each other the whole night... they even took my camera and continued to be all over each other on film (well digital actually... details, details) the bitch even jumped in some pics behind me sticking her nasty tongue out making fun of me.(Yes this pic is proof-- that is the groom from that wedding-- don't even remember his name. Ugly Black Bra Skanky girl is the one sticking her tongue out). I again drank way too much. I booty danced with everyone and their mother (literally-- I think I was grinding on his friend's mother). I was like the best DJ in the house though-- including requesting Salt N Pepa "Push It." To end the night, his married friend kissed me by the bathroom... I screamed, puked and went to bed (naked). He stayed out till 5am with this chick then came back to the room and tried to get on me. I had puked and undressed and was passed out... I was so hungover the next day I puked the entire day and was sick on the 5 hour drive. Classy I know this!
I have been to many more weddings with just friends and those were great! Weddings, me and men do not mesh well. Maybe it's a sign if I ever do get married Vegas or Mexico is the way to go.
On the wannabe side of this-- I just watched Bride Wars again and cried like a baby-- I miss my friends and honestly want to get married (to the RIGHT MAN). Yes I know I need a boyfriend first and I am a little ahead of myself, but it is Wedding Season so I get a little Crazy. I sound like a keeper, I know... but for real I am. I am successful and nice and pretty... I need to just let it go and one day it will come. I just hate this season and the constant reminder of my failed relationships and my now lack of one.
Anyone wanna be my date to a wedding in Indy in September and then again in Santa Barbara in October? haha probably not now.
Not only is it a reminder that no one has wanted to marry me, but I have to find dates to all of these stinkin things. Let me tell you something... if you are my date let's just figure we will not be friends any longer. I always have the wedding dates from you know where... Here's my low-down of bangin' times (well mostly other people bangin').
Jenn and Bobby (2002?)-- Maid of Honor-- No date but made out with the Best Man who also hooked up with another bridesmaid like 10 minutes later. Golden.
Jess and Matt (2007)-- Maid of Honor-- Matt was my date-- things were great to start-- ended up hooking up with an old high school friend of mine and brought her back to our hotel. Yeah I thought for sure I would end up in the bed while my date hooked up on the floor. Good thing he had the sense to hook up with her in the parking lot till 2am then she had to call her dad to pick her up. He then had the balls to come back to our room, he was of course locked out, and ask if we could spoon. Ew!
Adrienne and Nick (2007)-- Guest-- Tommy was my date and my boyfriend-- till that night. He complained the entire time. He started off by sitting in the church rambling out loud in front of my friends and Ade's family that he was atheist and how he will never get married. I started thinking about our future at that very moment. More complaining continued into the Cocktail Hour then reception. I started to drink... which he complained about and told me that I was too wild for him. He then got a phone call saying his dog got attacked by another dog...with tears in his eyes he said I have to go... you know my dog is very important to me. I understood that he wanted to check on the dog, so I said well just come back after you find out. His response, "Do I have to?" YES! Are you flipping kidding me? He made me find a ride home from the wedding. Let's just say the bartender had my drinks poured before I reached the bar that night. I luckily found a ride home... and well had a day to recover from a horrible hangover. We broke up the next day anyways... (yes we broke up over a dog).
Kara and Jason (2008)-- Guest-- Jake was my Date-- we were actually dating (not bf/gf but dating) Let me say it lasted one more wedding date experience with him before we stopped talking for more than 6 months. We had been friends for 6 years prior. In his defense, he just pretty much got left at the alter by his ex-fiance, so maybe this dating this was not up his alley at the moment. He was very weary about churches and weddings and, well, talked the whole time about how much he wanted to date Kara in college but how he wasted his time with the ex. HELLO WE WERE DATING AND KARA IS ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS! He hit on every person at the wedding including married women... He got hammered and I had to drive half of the wedding party to the hotel because he told them I would. This wedding was just a preview for the next one...
I was then a date to one of Jake's Friends weddings up in Cleveland (5 hrs away). He introduced me to everyone as JUST his friend. He left me alone most of the time to drink with his friend's wife and some people I had never met before. He then started hitting on this nasty fat chick in a white dress and black bra. They were all over each other the whole night... they even took my camera and continued to be all over each other on film (well digital actually... details, details) the bitch even jumped in some pics behind me sticking her nasty tongue out making fun of me.(Yes this pic is proof-- that is the groom from that wedding-- don't even remember his name. Ugly Black Bra Skanky girl is the one sticking her tongue out). I again drank way too much. I booty danced with everyone and their mother (literally-- I think I was grinding on his friend's mother). I was like the best DJ in the house though-- including requesting Salt N Pepa "Push It." To end the night, his married friend kissed me by the bathroom... I screamed, puked and went to bed (naked). He stayed out till 5am with this chick then came back to the room and tried to get on me. I had puked and undressed and was passed out... I was so hungover the next day I puked the entire day and was sick on the 5 hour drive. Classy I know this!
I have been to many more weddings with just friends and those were great! Weddings, me and men do not mesh well. Maybe it's a sign if I ever do get married Vegas or Mexico is the way to go.
On the wannabe side of this-- I just watched Bride Wars again and cried like a baby-- I miss my friends and honestly want to get married (to the RIGHT MAN). Yes I know I need a boyfriend first and I am a little ahead of myself, but it is Wedding Season so I get a little Crazy. I sound like a keeper, I know... but for real I am. I am successful and nice and pretty... I need to just let it go and one day it will come. I just hate this season and the constant reminder of my failed relationships and my now lack of one.
Anyone wanna be my date to a wedding in Indy in September and then again in Santa Barbara in October? haha probably not now.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Why I need a life...
Top 10
10. I am obsessed with teenie bopper shows like 90210 and Gossip Girl.
9. I talk to my cat like she is a person.
8. I facebook constantly.
7. I know what is in both redboxes daily.
6. I signed up for twitter.
5. I am really into celeb gossip and shoot real gossip.
4. My only friends are co-workers in this town.
3. I miss coaching my vball girls...
2. I obsess about my non-relationship status
1. I seriously think I have carpal tunnel from typing so much... blame this new blog thing, facebook and now twitter.
Oh I am sure I could do a top 50, but I will spare you.
10. I am obsessed with teenie bopper shows like 90210 and Gossip Girl.
9. I talk to my cat like she is a person.
8. I facebook constantly.
7. I know what is in both redboxes daily.
6. I signed up for twitter.
5. I am really into celeb gossip and shoot real gossip.
4. My only friends are co-workers in this town.
3. I miss coaching my vball girls...
2. I obsess about my non-relationship status
1. I seriously think I have carpal tunnel from typing so much... blame this new blog thing, facebook and now twitter.
Oh I am sure I could do a top 50, but I will spare you.
Monday, May 11, 2009
I should write a book...
So I am really thinking about writing a book... I have so many ideas...
1. Adventures in Dating
2. My college life
3. Online dating
4. Drama and my family
5. Comfortable in my own skin
Or maybe a screen play... seriously sometimes I wonder if my life is like the Truman Show. All the way down to my job. I have been saying I am going to learn Spanish Fluently and I keep getting emails and mail at work telling me to go to spain and take classes. Maybe I will move there...haha! I loved it when I visited why no move there?
Ok end thought.
1. Adventures in Dating
2. My college life
3. Online dating
4. Drama and my family
5. Comfortable in my own skin
Or maybe a screen play... seriously sometimes I wonder if my life is like the Truman Show. All the way down to my job. I have been saying I am going to learn Spanish Fluently and I keep getting emails and mail at work telling me to go to spain and take classes. Maybe I will move there...haha! I loved it when I visited why no move there?
Ok end thought.
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